The Grey Fantail
It begins with a Grey Fantail.
It's a lovely little bird, about the size of a wren, with a long tail that helps it manoeuvre in mid-air while catching insects on the wing.
One drizzly morning, while camping, I was watching a particular Fantail hunting near the washing-up station.
Us humans were huddled under shelter or shuffling through the rain with our heads down.
This little bird... was looking, hopping, taking flight, swooping...
catching insects and returning to a perch, its gaze darting everywhere with electric curiosity.
Its relaxed confidence contrasted with my feelings about the rain.
I was sheltering in my rain jacket... while it was doing acrobatics, catching delicious things to eat... then shaking off the raindrops... and taking flight again.
There was an aliveness to it. A confidence. Even a joy.
I noticed it was taking insects from one particular hovering swarm... and returning to one of two nearby perches. I thought, "It looks like you'd appreciate a closer perch." So I walked over and simply stood where I thought it might like to rest. After a moment someone came over to talk with me. As we were chatting, I saw their eyes go wide... and I felt the tiniest tap on my head.
The Fantail had landed on me.
When the conversation ended, I stayed exactly where I was. I held my hands out gently... softened my gaze... and tried to empty my mind. A few minutes later it returned. This time landing on my boot. Then my bowl.
I watched its inquisitive little head movements. "What's that?" "Maybe something interesting over there..." "Or perhaps something delicious..."
Then... with a tiny trill of wingbeats... it landed on my hand.
I felt the delicate points of its tiny claws. It's almost weightless body. It preened itself, shaking off the rain and carefully aligning each feather. When it was finished, it hopped onto my thumb... looked around... and zipped away after another insect.
It came back several more times that morning. Landing on my boots. My bowl. My hand.
Every touch from that tiny, hollow-boned creature... with its electric curiosity... and impossible aerial acrobatics... felt like a gift. Almost... a vote of confidence. "This guy's alright."
And then another thought arose. "If this bird trusts me like this... maybe I really do belong."
Later that day the bird seemed to decide the other humans were alright too. It landed on Michelle's head while she was making lunch. Then on Dan's back while he washed a dish.
A little while later, a fellow camper called me over. "Did you see this?" Lying in the grass beside his van... was another Grey Fantail. Dead.
Not my little friend. Mine was still happily hunting near the kitchen.
I picked up the tiny body. Its feathers were so soft they barely registered against my fingertips.
Earlier we'd seen a Grey Goshawk sweep through camp. My best guess was that, in escaping the hawk, this little Fantail had flown into the van window.
I looked back towards my friend. Still hunting. Still darting. Still making impossible turns through the rain.
I thought... It lives in a world where predators can fall out of the sky at any moment. And still... it hunts in the rain. Still it performs impossible flips and loops. Still it finds delicious things to eat. Still it makes new friends. That little being... is alive.
I looked down at the almost weightless body in my hand. Right up until the very moment... that it isn't. |
About the creatorsLee Trew Lee Trew - Story-writer and NarratorConnection Culture Founder, Facilitator, Supervisor & Therapist  Lee Trew is a Storyteller and Psychotherapist with a particular interest in pan-cultural spiritual language, concepts and practises. He specialises in personal transformation, relationships and parenting and is known for distilling complicated concepts down to their essence. He believes the cutting edge of cultural repair is based around connection, especially that within individuals and families. Lee likes to share a multitude of techniques in his sessions, encouraging clients to truly experience knowing their own self, and living in the joy of their own wild heart. Over the years Lee has developed Rapport Based Relating - a framework for working with children - as well as Connection Culture through which he offers his Holistic Psychotherapy training. Together with Gina Chick he began the Bluegum Bushcamps which offer a rewilding experience to families, helping people access their wildness and deepen their connection with the natural world. Lee is now married to clinic therapist Hannah Sylva and together they offer Vision Quests. Lee is the Supervisor of most of our clinic therapists. |
Michelle McCosker
Michelle McCosker - Video creator
Connection Culture Community Steward, Therapist & Mentor
Michelle McCosker is a vibrant and creative person, certified in both Holistic Psychotherapy and Art Therapy.
Her life experiences and playful approach provide profound wisdom in her work. She expertly and gently guides her clients through old wounds at their own pace, offering compassion and clarity, helping them access their innate wisdom and acceptance in themselves.
She calls this 'healing, as a movement of life'.
Michelle offers 1:1 Holistic Psychotherapy (online) and Art Therapy Sessions (online and in-person). As Community Steward, Michelle has established and care-takes this Community Clinic as well as offers focussed study sessions to Holistic Psychotherapy students studying Lee Trew's model.
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