Feature article from our December 2024 Newsletter
There's a lovely story that has been passed down through the Connection Culture lineage of Holistic Psychotherapy.
A fellow student one day said to a Master,
'Sometimes it feels like I have a mountain of karma to get through.
The teacher smiled and said 'Mountain ranges'.
This makes me laugh. And cry.
Ahhhh, of course.
The endless task of working things through to resolution. To being 'healed'.
Work that is never finished. There is always more.
Perhaps, working internally with a focus on healing old wounds or changing patterns and responses.
Or perhaps working externally, just getting to the end of a day, trying to tick everything off our 'to-do' list, and experiencing that sinking feeling of failure or overwhelm - that internal voice that says 'I didn't do it properly... perfectly'.
Or 'I didn't do as much as I wanted'.
Or worse - self judgement - the voice that says 'I didn't live up to what I wanted.' or 'I am not good enough' or 'I am WAAAAAAAY too much for other people'.
And from this place we compare ourselves to others around us and might see they are thriving, while we feel we are failing.
Perhaps this feeling of hopelessness, failure or overwhelm extends even further!
To recognising unhealthy family dynamics and hoping to shift them. To heal them. To resolve them.
Hopeful for a beautiful outcome, often disappointed by reality.
This disappointment and overwhelm can show up as stress, anxiety, addictive tendencies or even as a feeling of grief, sadness, despair, depression and a desire to hide when the world demands we socialise.
Most especially around this time of year, where many families gather (or don't), passed loved ones are missed, and wounding or 'bad habits' rise to the surface. Made even harder when we are often exhausted and don't have time to do anything well.
So the question - what do we do?
Is it even worth trying to move these mountains?
If all this karma, this unresolved distress and shadow, that reaches far back into the lives of our ancestors, and back through the history of our own lifetime, is never-ending.
It's an impossible task.
Or is it?
Other questions come to mind.
Is resolution the task?
What if we aren't aiming for resolution?
What if we take our eyes off the goal, the finish line, for a minute. What happens?
Some might call this a lowering of expectations, while others might call it an opening to possibility.
There is a beautiful Thich Nhat Hanh saying I was reminded of over the weekend:
'If you touch one thing with deep awareness, you touch everything.'
There is a beautiful trust in this. Do you hear it?
If we allow our focus to settle on a small task, and doing just that, with our fullest focus, presence and effort, everything that flows from there is changed.
Within and without.
There is no 'right' decision. We just make a decision, and from there, we make it right. Like in Permaculture, we start where we are, and use what we have.
And while all this tackling of impossible tasks is a serious business, working through Karma, healing our ancestral wounds as well as our own. Processing and enduring. All we are really doing is unblocking the river of love.
There is a song stuck in my head. It goes:
Lay yourself down by the rocks now
Let your body down in the river
Listen for the drumming on the other side
Loose yourself in the meantime
Listen. Let your body be your guide.
Let the water decide.
Loose yourself in the meantime
(Meredith Buck)
_______
If you would like to explore more deeply what this may mean for you, or are struggling in the lead up to the Festive Season, book in for a healthy chat with any one of our open-hearted therapists this month.
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